Playtime with Daddy

I love my Daddy!
He is the greatest guy I know!
I could just stare at him for hours...

But instead, I will show you my certification process!
This is how I verify that he is, in fact, my Dad.

First, check for cavities and loose teeth.
While you're in there, check to see if you can pull his tongue out.

Next... the nose.
Grab and pinch it really hard to make sure it's attached.

And finally, grab a handful of hair and yank real hard.
Then give a quick pop to the face.

And that's how you know he's yours.
Any other man would've walked away.